“Dear sir!  I must implore you: do not, under any circumstances, look directly into the eyes of the ancient cannibal idol.  For thousands of years those staring yellow eyes have frozen wayward travelers in a hypnotic funk whist they were surrounded by bloodthirsty cannibals.  The good news is that the idol cracked a few hundred years ago, so sacrifices are no longer boiled alive like that poor fellow in its mouth.  Sir?  Are you alright?  You look rather pale...”